The Today Show: Why A Fourth Hour?

As of right now, I am bracing for the laugh-fest that is The View to start. What other place can you find five menopausal women bickering about KY Jelly and planting? Im looking at the clock. 10:50. I am, for the next ten minutes, watching the Today Show's train wreck third hour. I am white-knuckling it waiting for The View to start..and after a half an hour of that, Ill switch over to The Price Is Right. And the sad thing is is that there's another hour ahead on NBC. I actually enjoy the fourth hour only because I like to see Kathie Lee drunk...but it will never triumph over Elizabeth Hassleback squirming under Whoopi. Never.

I think that the fourth hour of the Today show is better than the third. That's mostly because the only things that happen during the third hour is Al Rocker eating a whole Honeybaked Ham. Why do we need to find things out like new quesadilla recipes and vaginal rejuvenation. That does sort of sound like a pre-View show, but the premise is just a lie.

I dont know why NBC hasn't thought of putting on a new talk show. I think at this point I would consider watching a cat doing things for an hour than watch the third hour of The Today Show. Why cant NBC realize that painted cacti designed by the elderly in New Mexico is not news. It may be cute, but it's just not news.

My mornings this Summer Vacation have been okay, mostly because of the presence of Ellen DeGeneres in my schedule. But sometimes, dancing blonds cant make me feel any better about myself. I have been sitting around my computer just typing away. I would really like it if something new was on during the daytime schedule so I could actually feel like their doing the service of entertainment for myself.

While watching the third hour of the Today Show, you feel a sudden shock of regret. All the other shows have already started, so you cant go back now. It's too late. Your just going to to have to deal with the fact that versible tofu recipes are just going to have to do it for you.

Until then, I'm just going to have to hold on til the night time comes. I always have preferred the Late Night television lineup anyway.